Beware of "Mumpreneur" Falsehoods (trust me: there are trade-offs to make)
Issue #4: Bi-weekly insights for mothers interested in entrepreneurship
Dear Mums,
Many of the prevalent portrayals of mother entrepreneurs lack transparency, (to put it politely), and you need to know this so you don’t feel like you’re not measuring up.
General rule of thumb: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
There have been many times that I’ve thought I should be doing more; be it that I’m not utilising nap times properly, or that bedtime isn’t as efficient as it should be, and that I should be able to do it all.
However, I suspect those impossible expectations have been shaped quite significantly by online influences presenting as though they have it all—an idea explored in How Momfluencers Shape Motherhood by
. The interviewee Sara Petersen said:“I do think many of us are parasocially intrigued by momfluencers we perceive to be succeeding in ways that we perceive ourselves to be failing.”
The comparisons specifically to the 'mompreneur' archetype have misled me into embracing unrealistic ideals.
From my experience of running a business with small children in tow, I have learned that it isn’t possible to give 100% across every aspect of my life at the same time.
I know that by making the choice to spend the majority of my time with my children, I get to spend less time working on my business and vice versa. It’s just the reality.
With that insight I feel it’s somewhat incumbent upon me to be real, and honest about the juggle required to be a mother entrepreneur.
Despite what you may see online, there are always trade-offs and sacrifices behind the scenes. This message is especially important for us "average" mums who shoulder the majority of household duties on top of everything else. It's a lot to handle.
My hope is that with some perspective you can be realistic and intentional about the business decisions you make—and ultimately strike the right balance for you and your family.
Juggling babies & business
During my first pregnancy, I transitioned from freelancing to establishing my own agency. When my son was born in May 2020, I continued working, albeit at a reduced capacity. This arrangement was made possible by the lockdown, which kept my partner at home for several months. It allowed me to focus on both growing my business and caring for my son—a privilege I recognise isn't available to many first-time mothers.
As my son approached 10 months old, I found myself needing more support as my partner returned to full-time work. My mother stepped in to provide childcare two mornings a week. While this setup served its purpose for a while, it eventually became unsustainable, leading me to opt for nursery care.
With the birth of my second son, I've come to realise the irreplaceable value of those early moments. This realisation prompted a shift in my priorities to align more closely with my values.
My priorities, in order of importance, are:
children
romantic relationship
wider family
business
friends & leisure time
I've adjusted my business focus to prioritise longer-term goals and adapt my expectations accordingly.
Practically, I dedicate weekends and evenings to work, leveraging my partner's support when his schedule allows. However, I'm not actively scaling my business at the moment, recognising the risk of an unsustainable business model due to the lack of attention on building solid sales systems.
Ultimately, I've chosen to trade off business growth to be present with my children during their early years. While this leaves little time for leisure or personal activities, it's a conscious decision aligned with my values and priorities.
A realistic insight
Running a business and raising children is incredibly challenging. There are mornings I miss with my family and late nights spent meeting client deadlines, leaving me utterly exhausted. However, I prioritise fitting business around my life rather than reshaping my life around business.
Being an online business owner affords me the flexibility to adapt my workload to suit the needs of my family. Whether I need to ramp up or slow down, I can do so on my terms. This flexibility is invaluable, allowing me to navigate the complexities of balancing work and family life.
A powerful reference I often turn to, which you may find helpful too, is Parkinson's Law which says:
work expands to fill the time available
In other words, with smart time management, even small windows can become powerful opportunities to build and grow a business alongside motherhood.
Assessing your personal circumstances
Thomas Sowell said something like “there are no solutions, only trade offs” and I think that rings true for mothers who want to build businesses whilst raising our young children.
No matter how many romanticised examples you may come across, there are trade offs being made; the beauty of working for yourself is that you decide which ones you make.
With this in mind, I invite you use the following framework to consider your personal circumstances so that you can approach business in an intentional way:
Values: Start by identifying your core values—they will be the principles that shape your decisions and define what matters most to you. Consider what brings you fulfilment and satisfaction in both your personal and professional life.
Priorities: Next, prioritise your commitments based on your values. Determine what aspects of motherhood and business are most important to you. This could include spending quality time with your children, pursuing career aspirations, nurturing relationships, or maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
Goals: Define clear, actionable goals for both your personal and professional life. What do you hope to achieve in the short-term and the long-term? Your goals should be aligned with your values and reflect your priorities.
Trade-Offs: Recognise that every decision you make involves trade-offs. Consider the sacrifices you may need to make in pursuit of your goals. Are you willing to invest extra time in your business, even if it means sacrificing leisure time or outsourcing certain household tasks? Reflect on what trade-offs align best with your values and priorities.
Most importantly, remember to embrace your unique journey by recognising that success looks different for everyone and prioritising time with loved ones is a valuable decision in itself.
That’s it for now. My inbox is always open if you’d like to brainstorm.
Tasha x
I like your framework for evaluating how to approach establishing a work-life balance . It's so practical and ensures that whatever comes out of it is very aligned with your highest good.
I can strongly relate to how you frame your trade-offs in pursuing your online business while raising young children. They are unavoidable, and I've long ago dismissed myself from comparison to the Mompreneur influencer types and that romanticized image you mention. And it's honestly a relief. As you said, success looks differently for everyone.
This is so wildly helpful. I am thinking of going back into business for myself, and I find myself scared on how to juggle it all with my son, and the trade off thing is what I keep telling myself. Also, like you said, right now is probably not the time to focus on massive growth and to come back slowly but surely!